By Naimah Shaw
It was about 18 months ago when I took a leap of faith and created my very own public Facebook page. It was a way to articulate who I was and to show our journey as a large Muslim American family, knowing that I ran the risk of being judged. It was the beginning of my journey, the first step outside of my comfort zone and I am better because of it.
It was about 18 months ago when I took a leap of faith and created my very own public Facebook page. It was a way to articulate who I was and to show our journey as a large Muslim American family, knowing that I ran the risk of being judged. It was the beginning of my journey, the first step outside of my comfort zone and I am better because of it.
You see, my self-worth was so badly beaten by my own inner demons that I had become my biggest critic. Through that critique, I had lost an essential part of who I was. From the outside looking in, everyone saw a well put together mom of 4 but on the inside, even on my best days, I questioned what my true purpose was. I questioned whether being there and giving everything I had to offer was enough for my kids, if I was enough to drive the ambition of my sons, but especially my daughters. I told them they could be anything they wanted to be and I instilled in them the idea that their value is limitless and endless, but how was I showing this to them? The self doubt within was single handedly questioning the biggest job I am chartered with: that of being a mom.
It was at this point that I started to look deeper for answers and stumbled upon someone who would become my business mentor, Marie Foreleo. She has spent more than a decade building her empire from the bottom up. I decided to follow her most profound piece of advice, “Clarity comes from engagement, not thought” and so it was with that notion that I began seeking clarity.
I started asking myself deep questions, seeking ways to overcome self doubt and gain clarity in all areas of life. One facet that was of particular interest was, “How do I impact society outside the bounds of raising the next generation?” Self doubt told me I couldn’t, that I was “just a mom” but inside I wanted more. I still had dreams that needed to be pursued and ambitions that I wanted to achieve.
With that intention I started a public Facebook page to showcase our journey, not absolutely sure where it would take me. Even though that may sound like a small, inconsequential step- it has truly been life changing. Through this journey of vulnerability, authenticity and risk taking, I have formed a deeper sense of self and gained friendships with communities of pepople just like myself. I have since began a blog which has been read in more than 100 countries around the world, conducted workshops and attended speaking engagements, began freelance writing and more!
But why did I share this story? I shared it because storytelling has a way of taking others along on a journey and I know that my journey which began with me as a frazzled young adult with a Masters’ degree and a young family navigating my place in this world is not exclusive to me alone.
Here’s what I really want to tell you:
1) You can either be that person who chisels away at your own self doubt or you can bask in your own value. Be your own advocate!
2) Find your unique strengths, talents and value and then find the passion to pursue them.
3) Even when your head is telling you that you have nothing to offer STOP, STOP that thought right in its tracks and believe me when I say that we are all uniquely built to offer something amazing to this world.
4) In a world where virtually anyone can connect, find a support system of trusted people, your tribe, if you will and stay clear of those who vocalize their criticisms and aim to bring you down. Don’t let negativity into your life. You will shine your brightest through meaningful relationships- seek them out!
5) Just as we fight bullying from outside, we have to fight bullying from ourselves. We are our biggest critics and our most evil demons. Don’t let that inner voice make you believe that you’re, “Just a…anything” that you aren’t smart enough or qualified enough. Fight that bullying from within. Rebel against that inner voice that seeks to make you doubt yourself.
6) Make yourself a priority. Invest every-day in conscious acts of inward reflection, prayer, meditation and most importantly gratitude. Whether its journaling, blogging, volunteering, running, healthy eating, etc…make yourself matter!
7) We all have value regardless of our title. Fancy titles do not equate to self worth.
8) Never underestimate your unique abilities and strengths and make a conscious effort to exemplify these abilities. Promote your own strengths!
9) Be grateful for the life you have, the things you have and the gifts you bring.
10) Be grateful for everything you aspire to be. Do this world a big favor and turn your cans into plans. Take actionable steps to pursue your dreams.
5 Core things to remember:
1) Everything you like is disliked by someone. So whenever that voice tried to tell you you are inadequate or whenever someone disagrees, remember that even that reveals progress.
2) It is a whole lot easier to critique something than to do it. Instead of self-critiquing your dreams, internalize those passions and work towards them!
3) Do not give anyone (not even your reflection) the power to make you feel worthless.
4) If you are truly seeking growth and you give yourself that opportunity, then at some level you are bound to stumble. Stumbling are often the building blocks of growth and only through growth can we achieve our dreams.
5) Create an unshakeable mindset which means programming your mind for success and never losing your vision. Even when things don’t go the way you expect, the decisions you make at your lowest points will determine your reach at your highest point. Stay consistent to your vision and dreams and let go of the fear of failure and self-doubt that is hindering you from attaining your goals.
This article appears in the December 2017/January 2018 issue of Augusta Family Magazine.
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