By Karen Gordon
Scoot: Mom, look under there (pointing to desk). Mommy: Under where?
Scoot: Oooooh, you said underwear (laughing hysterically).
My kids range in age from 26 to eight. We have a daughter Ryanne who is 26 and three sons Christopher, 26, Malcom, 25 and Scooter is my eight year old. I thought this last one would be easy. You know, we have adult children so we are experts at this. Right? But this guy came into this world seemingly prepared to give me a taste of my own medicine and it seems as if he conferred with his older siblings in advance.
My husband, Clarence is nonplussed, unaffected, cool and calm. He embraces each new discovery with open arms. Who DOES that?
One thing I have gotten pretty good at though is choosing my battles. Except for the times when I forget that I am an adult and Scooter is the child. I do pretty well to “not hear” some of the crazy stuff he says….except when I need them for the book.
Yes, the book! We have been gathering intel on “The Scoot” since the age of two, I believe. Not so that we can use anything against him in a court of law but one never knows. I record his sayings, retorts, jokes and shenanigans because kids do grow up quickly. I want to be able to look back to the time he wrote a song about me when I would not let him go out and play. The song was aptly titled, “You Can Go Out And Play” and Scoot asserted that the voice of God gave him permission to go out. Okay. Right.
Or the many misadventures with our dog…
(August 2015) Pop Quiz: Which of the following did @SayWhatScooter say when Mommy asked him why Buddy’s paws were covered in blue magic marker ink? Here are your choices: a. Huh? b. Where? c. Not ME! d. I don’t know HOW he got it! or e. all of the above. (May 2016) @SayWhatScooter, getting ready for school as I hear an odd sound. Mommy: Scooter! What the heck? Why are you peeing in the tub? Scoot: Because Buddy is drinking out of the toilet. It would be rude to pee on him (#scooterlogic #validpoint).
We lost Buddy last summer but a few days ago, we adopted a sweet American Bulldog named Georgia. We can hardly wait to see what kind of mischief the two of them will get into. We are xcited about the journey and invite you to play along. You can find us at https://twitter.com/SayWhatScooter.
Karen Gordon is a singer, songwriter and the founder of Garden City Jazz in Augusta, GA. She works with the City of Augusta to present the Candlelight Jazz Concert Series each year and has partnered with RCBOE to develop interactive courses such as Taking Notes: Jazz & The American Story and partners with libraries and community centers offering Jazz4Kids.
This article appears in the April 2017 issue of Augusta Family Magazine.
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