One Resolution a Month

A Year's Worth of Resolutions Parents Can (and Should) Keep

Here I am, taking a breather from the holiday hubbub and someone asks the acutely annoying question, “What are your goals for 2012?” Since sarcasm is my guilty pleasure, I snap, “To take down the Christmas tree.”

My snippy comment does nothing to squelch the enthusiasm of the perky pesterer. In fact, it bolsters her smugness about her own plans to lose 10 pounds and learn to speak conversational Arabic fluently, plus run a 10K, teach herself how to make crème brulee with a blowtorch and feed all the hungry babies in Africa.

There’s not a nickel’s chance, though, that she’ll overachieve any more than I will. My gosh, if she actually lost those 10 pounds she’s slated every year since the early 90s, she’d have disappeared by now and wouldn’t be intimidating me into trying to turn around my life in January.
This is not to say that I can’t benefit from doing a few things differently. There’s always room for self-improvement, just ask my children. They make daily notes of my shortcomings in preparation for penning their memoirs. They’ve stockpiled my lengthy resolution lists dating back to 1995 as evidence of my inability to evolve. The title of their book will be something like, She Got Older but She Never Got Organized.

For 2012, I’m changing my approach to this fresh-year-fresh-start stuff. Who can successfully tackle 20 life-tweaks at the same time? Such a feat is beyond heroes and parents. It’s time to pace ourselves with a list of resolutions that we parents can (and should) keep; one easy task for each month. It’s a master plan for the calendar year and a precise path to nirvana (this exaggeration is meant to move you to action). Cut along the dotted line in the margin and pin these resolutions to the bulletin board, put them on the refrigerator or fold them into your wallet.

January—Take up a new activity with the kids, instead of a new TV show

The decorations are down and everyone is feeling kind of blah. Christmas cheer and goodwill are gone and whining and bickering are back. We need a distraction other than the easy chair. A new month and new year beg for us to try something new, together, as a family.

February—Hold a hibernation day

Pick out one Saturday or Sunday this month and reserve it. Decline all invitations and make no obligations. The hectic running around can wear a family down, so this month give the ruts in the road a chance to heal. On hibernation day NO ONE answers the phone or the door or e-mails. EVERYONE sleeps late, wears his or her pajamas all day, eats order-out foods, watches movies, plays games and essentially unhitches from the hurry-up. Tomorrow, rejoin the madness outside, refreshed and ready.

March—Accept the routine

By this time every year I find myself fighting against the daily grind of driving afternoon carpool, doing dishes, folding laundry, paying bills, spending Saturdays at ball fields, querying for freelance work, answering emails, keeping up school supplies stocked, telling children to remove their shoes from the kitchen floor…it’s exhausting isn’t it?

The struggle against it makes it even more so. The process runs smoother when I accept that this is the state of affairs for now and this is where our memories are being made. The good stuff is in the marrow of those harrowing moments of racing to keep up with the calendar. Give in and enjoy them.

April—Clear out some clutter

Put each family member, according to age and ability, in charge of one closet, one toy box, one cabinet or one drawer. Delegate permission to purge. Donate or yard-sale outgrown toys and clothes and small appliances taking up space but seldom used. Organize what’s left back into the closet, drawer, cabinet or toy box.

May—Plant a garden for good health

Two of the most common resolutions people make every January first are to eat healthier and exercise. A garden helps you do both. If you don’t have space for a backyard plot, plant vegetables in containers on the deck or patio. You’ll be amazed at the foods your children will try when they turned the soil and tended the plants themselves.

June—Take a vacation . . . just the two of you

Vacationing in June without the kids seems awfully selfish, doesn’t it? And that’s exactly why you should. Spending time together, one-on-one as spouses, should not feel like stealing time from your children. Reconnecting with each other strengthens the marriage and aids in presenting a united front at home. Children who sense and see that mom and dad are on the same page feel safe and secure within the family.

July—Start your Christmas shopping

Buy a few gifts now and relieve that frantic feeling later in the year. You’ll have more time to bake, create and spread good cheer with the children. It also spreads out the inevitable financial outlay associated with the holidays. Plus, you can take advantage of purchasing seasonal gifts for friends and relatives that may be harder to find in late fall and early winter.  It doesn’t matter if you buy three, five or ten gifts. Get started on a happier holiday season this month.

August –Open (or add to) your kids’ college savings

Eighteen years goes by before you know it. While you’re spinning plates and juggling balls, they’re growing up. Today, you help her organize her cubby and find her coat hook; tomorrow, you check her into her dorm room. Don’t get caught unprepared.

September—Say no

It isn’t dangerous. No one will throw you in jail. And all the other parents will be jealous. You don’t have to let your children participate in every fundraiser for every youth group, team, school, club and organization. You don’t have to serve as PTO secretary again this year. You don’t have to respond “yes” to every birthday party invitation that comes home in the backpacks. If it feels like a burden, say no. You don’t even have to add, “Maybe next year.”

October—Let your children do it themselves

This is a tough one, so start with something small like allowing the kids to prepare their own after-school snacks. End with something big like letting them make their own Halloween costumes. You get a little more time to yourself and your children gain confidence and independence.

November—Demonstrate thankfulness

Make it a family habit for each member to state daily something for which he or she in thankful. Strive to avoid repetition so that each person is inspired to take stock of and appreciate all of his or her blessings, from the very small to the very large.

December—Simplify

Why is it that we take the most basic of things, an infant’s humble birth in a stable, and turn it into a theme-decorated tree in every room of the house? Are your family members participants in holiday preparations or are they relegated to the periphery while you tie perfect bows? They may be getting the wrong message about the season’s true meaning. So simplify. This year, only put up what you can take down in a day: a tree, a door wreath, a table centerpiece and few favorites strategically placed. Leave everything else in the attic. Enjoy the divine found in a simple Christmas.

Lucy Adams is a freelance writer, newspaper columnist and author of Tuck Your Skirt in Your Panties and Run. She lives with her husband and four children in Thomson, GA. Email Lucy at lucybgoosey@aol.com and visit her web site, www.IfMama.com)