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Cruisin' Confusion

We’ve talked about taking a big family trip for Christmas for several years and we finally did it. We had a great time in the Bahamas and a whole lot of laughs, but I learned two things: First, my kids missed our family traditions on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning (which warmed my heart). Second, my son’s perception of reality is seriously skewed by the sea’s gentle rocking (which blew my mind).

To me, cruising is the ultimate vacation—you just show up. No packing supplies for a rented condo…no grocery shopping…no food preparation whatsoever. No bed making. NOTHING that resembles what I do regularly at home! Did I say no food preparation?

Even on the pool deck, you don’t have to leave your sweet chaise lounge for a cool beverage. Before you realize you’re thirsty, a pool boy in tight shorts is standing nearby with fruity umbrella-garnished frozen drinks! What could be better?

So Zack surprises me as we’re gathering towels to go back to our cabins and says, “Where can I take these cups, Mom?”

“You don’t take them anywhere. The bar staff will get them.”

“Yeah. I’m just not comfortable with people waiting on me.”

Since when? I’m thinking this kid has no problem being waited on at home! My husband chimes in, “That’s hilarious, Zack. Stop! Lightning will strike the ship.”

A few hours later we were in the dining room and Zack started the whole “this just isn’t me” speech again. We had several waiters tending to our “needs” (again, I am loving this) when Zack said he felt sorry for these guys working so hard just to serve dinner.

I’m like, “They aren’t volunteers, Zack. It’s their job—they get paid!“

“I’m just not comfortable being served,” he insisted.

I nearly fell off the boat! That, plus the earlier line about “Where can I put these dishes?” sent me into hysterics. Those of us who live with that boy know he leaves dishes wherever he finishes the last bite of food…on land, at least…in my Martinez home, in particular.

It begged the question: “Who are you and what have you done with Zack?”

Jennie Montgomery anchors the evening news at WJBF-TV. She’s married to Scott and they have three children: Zack, 19, Maddy, 18, and Sky, 17.

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