I got new furniture. This might not seem like much to you, but we were “blessed” (I’m trying to be sweet here) with quite a few hand-me-downs from our families when we married in the ‘80s. This table, that chair, these pictures, etc. Actually, I know that I am supremely blessed to have so many things at our disposal, but I never have been able to make my home “my own” until the past year.
Last fall, I passed kidney stone. Yep, not fun. You moms get it because this was like labor contractions, but only on my left side. Bond was out of town, both of my kids were away attending UGA and I didn’t want to wake my parents up to take me to the ER before it was light outside.
While tossing and turning in pain, I actually thought through the things in my life I would regret if I died. (The pain from my sunflower-kernel-sized kidney stone felt like I might die before the morning light.)
I could not think of one thing I regretted with my family, which is what I’m all about. I love my husband and he knows it. So do my kids. My parents are amazing and I hope I have told them this at least 1,000 times a year. My sister and her family have brought me so much joy that I continue to be amazed that I have her and her husband and cuties in my life. What a revelation to realize that despite the normal ups and downs of life, I’m happy with where I’ve landed and who I’m surrounded by.
So if you’re wondering what my regret was, I’ll admit that it is nothing compared to the blessings I’ve had. My only regret was trivial—that I’ve never had my home completely decorated the way that I wanted. When I told Bond this was my one regret, he gave me a budget and we went on a one-year redecorating mission. We have framed many of CC’s art pieces, plus have gotten most rooms in the house to reflect the way I wanted my house to be.
Back to the new furniture. I ordered slip-covered furniture for our great room from Crate and Barrel. It arrived just before Thanksgiving. My sofa and loveseat are white and everything is a little crumpled looking. My mother asked me if I was going to steam the wrinkles out of the slip covers. I told her, “that’s the way slipcovers work, wrinkles and all.”
Wrinkles and all is metaphor for my life. I don’t expect to ever live in a magazine-worthy home. And, I certainly am flawed and wrinkled. But as we enter another new year, I can accept that. I hope you can accept yourself, too. If not now, maybe when you’re my age (which is 53…OMG!).